Christine Rhyner

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Infertility Is...
10/19/2013 12:00:01 AM by: Christine

Infertility is...lonely.  It's a heartache that accompanies you wherever you go, whatever you do.  It waits for you to see a baby in a park before it bubbles up and brings you to tears.  It makes you stare at pregnant women's stomachs.  It leaves you out of conversations with friends and family about their children.  It makes you feel like you have a scarlet letter "I" for infertility stamped on your forehead.

If you live in a suburban area where people flock to buy their homes and build their families like I do, it makes you feel like you're the odd woman out in your own neighborhood.  You don't feel "normal."

Before we adopted I relied heavily on family and friends for support, compassion, understanding and prayer.  I overtaxed them and saw the tension in their body languages and endured the silence that would follow.  Worse yet, some told me not to bring it up anymore.  It caused me to feel shame and anger.

That's why it's so important to seek the Lord and bring all the emotions that accompany infertility to Him.  His Word says that he will heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.  But it's also important to have people in your life that can understand your pain, like those you can find in an infertility support group.  RESOLVE is one, and there are others online that one can join.  Grief counseling is another option.

How I wish I'd made these vital connections when I was trying to conceive.  You see I am the only one of six sisters, three sisters-in-law and numerous cousins, nieces, friends, neighbors, etc, that was not able to achieve something I felt so basic and connected to my femininity that others simply take for granted.  Years later, my husband and I are still the only ones in a huge, extended family that have adopted.

Infertility can be lonely but we don't have to walk alone in the midst of our pain.  Reach out to those who can help.  Seek the Lord and His great compassion and comfort.  Know that you have options as you pray, to connect with others like you, remain "childfree" but perhaps work with children, seek medical interventions or bring a child into your heart and home through adoption.  Remember that weeping may last the night, but joy comes in the morning.  Praise the Lord.

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