Christine Rhyner

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Thoughts of Her
2/1/2014 12:00:01 AM by: Christine

And so it is, amidst the cake and presents, the party and focus on another year gone by for my child, my mind wanders. It always takes me back to that anonymous young woman who gave him life, then had to walk away. It's bittersweet because I know that another woman's pain--an unimaginable one to me--has brought me so much joy and blessing.

The reasons for her having left Lucas behind will always be unknown but I can guess at them. I know that she was young and unmarried. This could have been cause for her to feel shame, fear and even shunning from her family. Things are different in a country like Vietnam, especially if you are from a traditional family or don't have money or a man to marry you when you find you are pregnant. Maybe even if he is willing to marry you it's too late because everyone will know you conceived before you wed. And when they tried to find her, to get that required "double surrender" to place him for adoption, she could not be found. So we were told.

So as she comes to mind at the end of every January I think it only fitting to silently thank her, to pray for her and hope that she has moved on to a wonderful life over the years. And as technology continues to grow and Vietnam develops I also wonder  if she will ever look up the public records that are available regarding his adoption. Should she ever want to contact her biological son, I think I could embrace that. I would love for her to know what a remarkable boy she gave birth to. I would also want my son to have the opportunity to know her, if that is something he would choose.

I, and my child are forever connected to two unknown people across the globe. That causes me to feel a deep sense of gratitude and a sadness too.

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